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Missed Opportunity

March 4, 2012

RoT is trying to say something here; it's just not sure what.

There should have been a fanfare. 1000 trumpeters, at least, dressed is glittering unitards. And balloons, in huge, rainbow bunches, lining the streets. For yes, some time ago, Reviews of Tings celebrated its second birthday. RoT could pretend that it had decided to celebrate in a low-key manner, like that time Britney got married to that D-Bag she was definitely related to in Vegas. After all, one was a big deal; maybe it’s best to save the celebrations until five. But four years without a party? What kind of life is that? Determined to make up for this wasted chance, RoT packed its overnight bag and hopped on the Eurostar to Antwerp, which it had heard was the new party capital of Europe. It wasn’t. So while RoT spent the (freezing) night hopping from foot to foot outside, waiting for Antwerp train station to open (hostel mix-up), it got to thinking about other missed opportunities. It thought of the Cadbury’s Spira, which, in a just world, would have become Britain’s National Snack. It thought of the misplaced faith of the British people in Paula Radcliffe, and the countless opportunities she subsequently missed. It even, fleetingly, thought of lost loves (sustained eye contact with strangers on buses). But mainly it thought of Lutricia McNeal, and of her two late-90s smash hits, which should have seen her become the world’s most successful ever singer and, later, President. Shame.

Verdict: Ain’t that just the way that life goes down? Happy 2nd Birthday, Reviews of Tings!


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