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Horse with No Teeth

May 23, 2011

Kelly? Kelly Osbourne?

Now, this little piccy here is just to get the gist across. Really, RoT has saved your virgin eyes from much, much harsher sights. Try googling ‘horse with no teeth’. Really disgusting, eh? RoT is struggling a bit with this one. Horses are horrid to look at anyway (Tally aside), but their most disturbing feature has to be their giant teeth. Or perhaps RoT is biased – it had a nightmare once that involved horse teeth and a really aged Danny DeVito. Whatever the genesis of this horse teeth phobia – let’s call it dentequinophobia – natural order dictates that a horse without teeth be more pleasing than a horse with. But no. Horse without teeth is the very definition of revolting. There is nothing worse. Gummy horse looks like the aunt-you-never-want-to-kiss’s ass when she hasn’t shaved her anal beard for a couple of weeks and the regrowth is somewhere between ‘stubble’ and ‘bum-fluff’.  In fact, the reason it’s taken four days to get this post up is due to countless vomiting – violent and vigorous and voluminous – that RoT incurred during the search for an accompanying picture to this review. You’re welcome.

Verdict: Yes, RoT got to be a martyr and, yes, RoT got to invent a phobia, but when you’re scraping a barrel of shit this deep and fetid not even the sweetest rose can mask the stench.

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