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Female Student from The Michel Thomas French Foundation Course

May 8, 2011

Mon Français dépasse de loin la vôtre, Madame.

Sometimes, though you might not guess it from the online evidence, RoT reads books. This was a weekend of warm air; of open windows and a door thrown wide onto the raised decking; of home-made pizzas; of fizzing gimlets and of reading. The result of this was the blooming of a new idol/obsession/crush in RoT’s heart: step forward The Secret History’s Henry Winter. In a bid to emulate dear Henry, RoT decided to dig out it’s old Michel Thomas French CDs – hardly ancient Greek, but small acorns, etc. There are two pupils to learn along with – an English man, who’s a solid C student, and an American (quelle surprise) woman. Now. RoT has, in its decades of education, been in many classes. But never – never has it encountered a pupil as Jesus-defyingly retarded as this broad. She fails to answer a single question correctly. Her pronunciation is consistently wide of the mark – not once does she form the correct vowel sound. Her accent, which she lays on thick when she thinks she’s answered a question right (she hasn’t), is beyond parody. There’s no chance she’d ever make it past the door of a Patisserie – which she’d be led to by her nose, due to an insolveable inability to read the sign. Michel Thomas – rest his soul – sounds close to throttling her on multiple occasions. And he is not to be blamed. The woman has barely mastered English, so why she had the bright idea of moving onto French is inconceivable. RoT could have squeezed triple the French into the amount of time she wasted with her slack-jawed attempts at learning – an endeavour that, clearly, this woman will never rise to achieve.

Verdict: RoT hates to speak ill of the dead – for, surely, a woman this severely retarded cannot still be living – but Christ, this bitch drags humanity to a new low.


16 Comments leave one →
  1. June 2, 2011 5:30 pm

    I found this post by searching for “who is the retarded woman in michel thomas french?” — and I’m determined to find a photo…I’m convinced that she’s a public high school principal. Thank you for addressing this…I feel much less alone now.

    • June 2, 2011 6:33 pm

      No, Stephen Frost: thank you. Together we can find this woman, and then expose her for the linguistic dunce that she is. Then we can make her pay for what she has done, with global blog-based humiliation.

  2. neil permalink
    June 23, 2011 10:12 am

    she is THE most annoying person ever, i hate the way she sighs and makes noises like she understands when clearly she does not. “Michel whats to go again?” you can hear him going mad, its va ok he spent the first hour on it, u use it in every segment, good god, i got these tapes to listen to on the train to work i almost shouted at the top of my voice at her on the train. i hate her quite much 😀

  3. Lucky Duck permalink
    August 28, 2011 5:42 pm

    I am trying, yet again, to get through these 8 CDs, but that woman drives me so close to the edge that I have to turn it off to avoid committing random acts of violence.

    I do, however, rather enjoy listening to Michel try to retain control. I can only imagine that by the end of the 8th CD, he has battered her with the microphone and been carried off to a rubber room.

    Has anyone found out who she is yet? I have a very 80s impression of her.

  4. The Sundance Kid permalink
    August 31, 2011 11:23 pm

    I too found this page in an internet search to find who this harlot is. J’aime Michel Thomas et ses leçons, mais je la déteste absolument! She is so stupid, especially when compared to the intelligent and humble male student, it is unreal.

    If you guys manage to track her down let me know, I want to strangle her whilst slowly explaining all she has done to enrage me so.

  5. The Sundance Kid permalink
    September 4, 2011 10:19 pm

    I just started the advanced recordings, and no word of a lie, I shed a tear of joy when I realised this accursed women had no part in it. There is a God, and he is good.

  6. west permalink
    September 27, 2011 6:27 pm

    She’s sexy. Something about the small gasps and the little sounds she makes is cute. But then I’ve always been attracted to the dumb ones.

  7. possom permalink
    September 28, 2011 5:08 pm

    Oh thank you… I’m not the only one who feels this woman and her americanisms (it’s ‘hyphen’ not ‘daaaaash’) urghhhh, just the recollection of that sound makes me involuntarily shudder. And those ridiculous surprised-sounding intakes of breath… of course she hasn’t understood, she asks for the same damn explanation 5 minutes later. Glad to be able to vent this. My boyfriend doesn’t get why she annoys me so much. And god, that annoys me!

  8. possom permalink
    September 28, 2011 5:11 pm

    Oh crikey. Just realised that in my state-of-annoyance-typing I didn’t even finish my first sentence properly. See what you’ve done to me woman… grrrrrrr. Think I got my point across though

  9. ineedtoventcom permalink
    May 17, 2012 3:51 pm

    Yeah I have to agree! I’m just refreshing my French as I will be moving to Switzerland so I heard good things about this course. But the stupidity of that wench is so distracting! I’m forever rolling my eyes listening to her on the train – just hope no-ones thinking I’m rolling my eyes at them. She gets everything wrong even when Michel basically gives her the answer!

  10. and then permalink
    May 27, 2012 2:51 pm

    Love it, i also hate how the english guy extends everything he is saying as he thinks it… ‘noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon allon pas’

  11. DoTell permalink
    June 19, 2012 4:42 pm

    SWEET JESUS ON HIGH…I am attempting to get through this program, however, like the lot of you, I am frighteningly close to becoming clinically insane due to this bumbling idiot woman’s repetitions…please find her so that I can put a face to whomever is this mind-numbingly dumb…PLEASE! My damn dish towel could speak better French than her. >:-(

  12. Nick permalink
    June 26, 2012 10:41 pm

    I know who she is. I won’t tell you, because it wouldn’t be fair, but . . .

    • November 7, 2012 12:37 am

      liar! liar!!! we’re all dying here. please. we NEED this. give us a riddle. or a phone number.

      • Nick permalink
        November 8, 2012 1:41 pm

        Can’t I’m afraid! She was a nice woman, a bit out of her depth, obviously. I was just a few minutes away from complete disaster as MT came up, and I was going to mention that appalling American, and she said it was me. Just take a deep breath and keep listening.


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