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Reviews of Tings

February 19, 2011

Bootylicious!

Not that you’d believe it, but Reviews of Tings is one year old. Every birthday before the age of sixteen is used by parents as an excuse to give essential items as gifts – that’s not to say Reviews of Tings wasn’t excited by its non-spill cup and outdoor booties, it will be eternally grateful. Moreover, the first birthday is one of many rest-points where the parents of said child can look back over its progress, review their ting. Wistful tales of cherished moments: the first milk, like a warm, wet dandruff moustaching the mouth; it’s little starfish hand onto the soft delight of a mossy wall; the first gaze upon our everliving saviour, Lady Diana of the Daily Mail. But where would we be without the lows?: RoT’s unfounded accusations, the blockade of Gaza, and the tragic neglect of of seven World Cup Football mascots who were found famished in a warehouse on the outskirts of Dusseldorf, having found that Pique’s limbs were not sufficient nutrition for some growing, rosey-cheeked boys. There have been achievements, yes, but there remains a lot to be achieved. And until everything, ever, has been reviewed, RoT will not stop on its quest towards the quantification of every opinion held by man into a handful of *s, or a lowly mark out of ten. And I say to you fellow RoTingers, ask not what RoT can do for you, but what this picture informing us of ‘Pirate’s Booty: get hooked’ is doing on a blog that once bemoaned its lack of pictures? Has RoT been captured by Somali pirates – my, what a plot twist that would be …

 

Verdict: RoTs wakes every morning wishing the johnny hadn’t split. 5/10.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 20, 2011 12:39 am

    happy birthday

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  1. The First Review « Reviews Of Tings
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